It's cool to be a fool
by Anna Lempriere
“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool”
William Shakespeare
One of the first times I can remember feeling stupid was in junior school, I was maybe 7 - an important age. I was not interested in any kind of academic learning, I was happy in movement, yoga, dance, stories, playing, climbing.
I was asked to stand up in front of the class to read, I don’t think I could read, maybe the beginnings, as I stood and realised I would not be able to do it, I felt the heat of shame rise up through my body, time slowed, I froze, there was a part of me was witnessing the utter embarrassment of trying to keep it together, part was feeling the class responses, and yet another viewpoint, I was detached, frozen, out of my body.
This is what I remember, I don’t remember how it ended, or what messages my teacher gave me, or what school said about my abilities at that age, but the decision I made about myself was that I was stupid because of this inability and it made a lasting impression, an imprint on my psyche.
I mean isn’t this powerful, how one experience can shape our future, can influence many of the choices we make?
Stupid: Having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense.From French stupide or Latin stupidus, from stupere ‘be amazed or stunned’.
synonyms:unintelligent, ignorant, dense, brainless, mindless, foolish, dull-witted, dull, slow-witted, witless, slow, dunce-like, simple-minded, empty-headed, vacuous,
How does this relate to our working lives.
Does our value link to what we know? Do our qualifications, our knowledge, even our experiences constitute our worth? They say knowledge is power, to be educated gives us opportunity, this may be true and the great sages speak of wisdom being different to knowledge.
Increasingly, we hold up high science as truth and yet it is ever evolving, our thoughts/beliefs as God, Our need to prove and improve-at all cost, to consume and to gather, have we lost our way, could simplicity, and admitting our lack of knowledge, and embracing that vulnerability, in fact be wisdom?
I went on to be an actor, my Mum encouraged me, to help me get out of my “shyness”, but the reading bit was always what I found the most challenging, learning lines, the auditions where I’d need to read on the spot. The funny thing was, to cover up how I felt, I would speed up, I wanted to come across as “Intelligent” as “literate”- it didn’t bloody work well, I couldn’t feel into the words or tell the story because I was so wrapped up in the fear of judgement from the listener and of myself the harshest critic. Perhaps in my day there wasn’t the labelling and diagnosis of dyslexia, I’m not sure what I had, God bless me, but I kept going, working professionally and managed to succeed in hiding this.
When I had my daughter, I trained as a Kundalini Yoga teacher, specialising in Communication and the Mind. I also created a job at an awesome company called Idology ( Thank you Lucy Ratcliffe for believing me in ), a company that celebrated SELF, I began working within corporate cultures where I felt so so different from executives, it was challenging and at the same time because the work was linked to individually, originality, and self celebration, it started to rub off on me, looking back I think maybe I was a breath of fresh air in these business settings, ultimately being me, not fitting into a type cast, was a path I was in great need of taking. The work with Idology and my yoga training seemed to speak the same language, the language of Self and Love and so a new chapter began, self acceptance, self belief, growth, this chapter was all about learning to love the quirks, weirdness and perhaps even my “stupidity”, I began to uncover what I was great at, It was the greatest chapter.
“I know that if we think we are stupid we do all we can to hide it- and our ego will defend itself and need itself to be right at all costs.” Have you ever felt that, or worked with people like this?
What if we could we reframe stupid to Innocence?
I had such a thirst to understand truth, to be completely free from conditioning and limitations, I trawled books, philosophy courses, therapy sessions, over the time of 25 years, I particularly love/resonate with ancient Indian Advaita Vedanta- The science of Living, where many of the great sages and saints talk of being innocent, of not knowing, that the ultimate truth is nameless, we can only glimpse the majesty of it.
For me the experience of Innocence is being completely open, free of judgement and receptive to all the information without claiming it, this is a wonderful coaching practise.
As the master Bruce Lee said “It’s like a finger pointing to the moon, don’t concentrate on the finger, or you will miss all the heavenly glory”.
If we explore the origin of the word stupid it means- amazed or stunned, we have used this as an insult to a person that doesn’t have the answers, “Mindless” “slow” “Simple minded” are judged as negative, I know as a business woman this “slow” “ mindless” attitude is the very behaviour I and my clients need to develop to avoid getting ill, and that organisations in all sectors are now recognising the need to learn to slow down to encourage mediative times of rest so as to be super productive, to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, ( deep relaxation) for optimum balance and high performance. So…to be mindless what a treat, with all the craziness, speed, over stimulation, lack of quality time, anxiety leading to burn out, depression leading to a sense of meaninglessness, practising getting out of the head might be just what’s needed.
I mean, can we just give ourselves a break? Could softening the attachment to being clever, having to control situations, discussions and arguments be healthy? I am not saying I don’t love to learn, education is wondrous, and do we, need to wear as if it is our worth,? If we play with the word innocence, it can be understood as the experience of having an inner sense, of trusting impulses, responding with the moment rather than preparing to control the outcome.
I want to design a T Shirt with the slogan- “Its cool to be a fool” Let’s drop all the need to impress, all that exhausting shite. Being foolish in our society means making mistakes, isn’t that how we learn, to be easy with mistakes, and owning them, this is how the greats in business and through history became great, they were more than happy to experiment, to not know, to think differently. What’s that quote by Steve Jobs about the crazy people who think outside the box. Could being a fool mean having no attachment to what the outside world thinks of us, and no attachment to what the future might be- just sometimes? Occasionally let there be a vacuum? I know we need to think stuff through and have goals… and what I am saying is can we have some balance, can we really think differently, with freedom, and openness, make mistakes and have a party when we do!
I truly mean this not to pay lip service to this practise, to see this state of stupid to be highly creative and to be very healthy.
Could “stupid” be- Believing that our thoughts are who we are? Yes we know that our thoughts create our reality, the words we choose, the actions we take form our habits and character, BUT are they who we are? Can we be a thought if we can observe it, and change it at will if we really wanted to? The mind is the field where our thinking happens, it is an organ just like the liver it can be our servant, or we become it’s slave.
Could “stupid” be- Thinking your ideas are yours? Where do they originate from? I know we have patents for our ideas and rightly so, and If I said to you where is your thought, where is it stored within your brain? You couldn’t let me know where the idea arose from- i.e take me to a physical place and show me the idea, only perhaps what the stream of consciousness was that triggered it. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book Creative Magic, believes ideas are living entities somewhere in a subtle realm waiting to be heard and attended to. Some of the greatest greek philosophers believed ideas were the only lasting truth. I think where we can use this practise of “stupid” is in meetings, instead of thinking “That was my idea” we could shift to a more collaborative perspective, it is our idea and all the minds connecting in this meeting will generate the idea together, it may be that it’s you or me that vocalises it and yet, we were all there, one idea led to another until the right idea arrived, it certainly removes egos, it allows for time, space, non attachment, ease and play to occur. John Cleese talked of this in his TED TALK on creativity on why the Monty Python empire was successful, he said it was their ability to be comfortable in the not knowing, to be in that stupid place of not knowing for as long as was needed until the right eureka moment arrived, these magical moments usually occur when we aren’t trying or controlling, but when there is a state of freedom. Intelligence has always been measured by comparison, if I am wrong someone else is right- this is the basis of competition and in a work environment I do see a new approach occurring.
I hear the word collaboration, inclusion and the greatest need in society for a new way of being. Less I and more We and at the same time the I being utterly celebrated within the we.
Could listening be an antidote? We are born if blessed with 2 ears and 1 mouth, surely that is a clue, as the great Jimi Hendrix said “Knowledge Speaks but Wisdom listens” I know I always feared I wouldn’t be included if I didn’t speak, and if I didn’t have the answer immediately, either I’d be ignored or seen as not intelligent. Could listening be with all of the 5 senses, which for me adds to a 6th sense, the sense to explore- try it, the body, the impulses, the inner messages, ask questions rather than having the answers, find interest in what’s not being said, in spaciousness instead of form- before your mind has a little fit about all of this, I am talking about balance, I just know most of us must redress it for the benefit our of health, health for ourselves and the future of how we do business.
Plasticity, a creative brain, an open growth mindset, is one way to develop our wisdom. Carol Dweke who developed growth mindset in schools in America spoke of how we can grow and learn from the perspective of setting our development not against a societal standard, or by competing or labels like A student, or failed, but rather to enjoy our learning experience, the journey, and our unique progression. This changed me for life, when I started speaking to myself with unconditional positivity, not the glib, but coming from an open loving perspective, like you would hope you might speak with a child. How did I do? What went well? Why did it go well? Was there anything I could do better? It seems so simple, and for most of us when we are learning new stuff the usual voices in my mind might be, “That was shit, I’m rubbish, you are awful, I’m never going to get there so why fucking bother, so and so is so much better, I’d despair, and that kind self talk might go on for some hours, sometimes days. I don’t do that very often now. I either decide- I don’t want that experience in my life now, or I choose with awareness to learn and praise my growth. Also this fixed mindset inhibits us from recognising our gifts and accomplishments, meaning we never celebrate our successes, as we don’t notice the small and huge steps of growth, we just keep on to the next thing. Research in Neuro-Plasticity explores how our brains have the ability to rewire, that our make-up is not fixed, it is malleable, we can learn new behaviours even when the nerve synapses have been destroyed. How we choose to think, and more importantly learn is utterly mutable.
As leaders, and even if we aren’t “Leaders’ at work, we can all make a difference and influence the people around us, could we be open to innocence, even being “stupid” as a practice? Perhaps in certain circumstances for blocks of time?
Some of the greatest qualities demonstrated by inspirational leaders through history are the ability to be open, fluid, curious, lateral, to deeply listen with reason and the intuition, to ask the big questions and not to have all the answers…
So what might you take into your working life.
You are pure intelligence, an open receptacle that can grow, learn and create, you are worth more than the information you have gathered.
You are not your thoughts, feelings, or sensations, although when you believe them they influence you, your body, relationships and the world around you. You are vast innate wisdom where everything is occurring.
Listening- another word for awareness is the antidote to the feeling of being “stupid”, listening to your responses and the responses of world around you, with curiosity and wonder.
Being open in meetings to the group idea, that it’s a family job, a gathering of ideas, you may be the catalyst for the final idea or you may be the one who vocalises it, if you keep this perspective and inspire it in your teams it may be a more balanced fearless meeting.
Practice having a beginners mind, this supports innovation, and unexpected turns, fresh starts with stagnant relationships, drops judgement, and as a manager/leader, this creates results!